Friday, June 3, 2016

The Fantastic Five Dialog Tag - Five Pieces of Dialog from The Stump of the Terebinth Tree


Guess who gets a sneak peek at some of my writing? YOU! How lucky is that? It's like winning the Powerball...except you'll still walk away poor and there are no cameras involved. Or taxes. So, really, nothing like winning the Powerball. Pretend I didn't say that. 

Nate Philbrick, an extremely talented writer with absolutely no sarcastic tendencies, has started a blogging tag called the "Fantastic Five Dialog Tag." It's awesome. It involves posting 5 out-of-context pieces of dialogue from your current WIP and then tagging fellow Wordlocks to do the same. 

My WIP is The Stump of the Terebinth Tree, a YA Christian Fantasy. I tried pitching it to some agents prematurely, but then realized that I have a bit of a problem: I wrote it over the course of four years and my style has changed quite a bit since then. The solution? Rewrite it so that it will have a more cohesive feel. Yes, it's both as grueling and rewarding as it sounds. Satisfaction is not in my nature, but if it was I think I'd be pretty satisfied with how the process has been going so far. 

Anyway, here are five of some of my favorite pieces of dialogue from The Stump of the Terebinth Tree. Enjoy:
“Remember, Arwhil said not to apologize to anyone unless it was your fault or the person is bigger than you. Well, it wasn’t your fault and I’m certainly not bigger than you, so why are you apologizing?”

“If you are not willing to give up all you have on this journey, you will never succeed.”

“I didn’t really expect to die going over a hundred-foot waterfall. That’s how idiots die. I would never have placed myself in that category until just now.”

“Why have you come, elfling? They told me you were a warrior of much wisdom. And yet here you are, ready to die like a fool for a world that will fall whether you sacrifice yourself or not. Do you not know, elfling, that you are defeated? Your power does not go beyond a sword and a reckless spirit. You can do nothing but die in a pool of your own blood. You will not win this battle.”

“I want to leave the world changed when I die. Don’t you?”


I think those five lines of fairly representative of the overall mood of the story. They are also five lines from the original manuscript that will make the cut and move on into my re-written version. Let's give them a round of applause for surviving my wrathful red highlighter! 

Now, to tag some Wordlocks: 





YOU! If you're reading this and think this looks like fun, please jump in. 

Now go ahead and follow Nate Philbrick and the five other awesome people I've linked over to. You don't want to miss out on their content. What? Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it's important?!

Don't forget to tell me about some of the lines of dialogue from your own WIP! There are so many awesome writers out there and I'd be excited to read all of your pieces of dialogue....or dialog, depending on where you live. Please tell me I'm not the only one who is highly amused by the differences between American English and British-Or-Any-Non-American-English-Speakers English. 

Anyway, leave a comment below and let me know which of my above pieces of dialogue you like. I'd like you honest opinion....Unless you dislike all of them, in which case: I'm not entirely sure that I've had enough tea to allow that kind of talk.

Related articles:
5 Steps to Writing 100% All Natural Dialogue - A Guest Post by Miranda Kulig
Flash Fiction Entry - The Life Of A Writer

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17 comments:

  1. I'm torn between liking #3 and #5 the best. #3 is slightly humorous and makes me want to find out what happens next, and #5 I totally agree with. Change for the better, I can hope. I like the premise for your WIP, by the way, and can't wait to hear more about it!

    As for the differences between American English and British English, no you're not the only one who finds it amusing. I recently found myself surrounded by a group of British friends who were discussing different chocolate brands in the UK, none of which I am familiar with. It was like they were speaking another language. Then somebody mentioned Lindor truffles, and suddenly I felt like Captain America: "I understood that reference!"

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    1. I'm so happy you enjoyed this, Azelyn! And yes, that character was talking about changing the world for the better. =) It's good to know you like the premise. It's been a fun story to write. Difficult, but fun.

      I cracked up about your chocolate conversation. Sitting around and talking about different kinds of chocolates sounds fun...preferably while eating said chocolates. ;-)

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  2. These are fantastic, Hannah! And I'm excited to participate in my first blog tag - this should be fun!

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  3. These are awesome! And I love the title, too!

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    1. Thanks, Nate! I'm glad you liked them. And yes, I'm partial to the title, too. Tolkien gave me a love for trees in fiction. =)

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  4. This is a great idea and it actually sounds like a lot of fun. *ponders* Hmm, I might pretend to be tagged. ;) Except I still have so many other tags to catch up on... heh heh!

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    1. YUSSS! Do it. Jump on in! I'd love to see what awesome dialogue you've been cooking up. =)

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  5. I love the first bit! And kudos for the Little Mermaid reference. ;)

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    1. Lol! Thanks. Little Mermaid is one of my favorite animated movies, mostly because of the music and the awesome animal sidekicks.

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  6. My first blog tag! I would be jumping for joy if I wasn't holding a sleeping baby right now.

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  7. Great dash of humor, Hannah - it reads beautifully! Very well done to you, my friend <3

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    1. Aw. What a great compliment. Thank you!

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  8. That's a really intriguing glimpse into your story Hannah. I look forward to reading more of your work. Write On!

    Thanks for tagging me. :-D I'll certainly replying to this one.

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    1. Yay! It's good to know that my writing looks good to others. Sometimes I'm so close to it that I can't judge it accurately. =]

      Looking forward to your response! I've been wanting to see what awesome story you've been cooking up.

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  9. I love #3 and #4. Especially #4 because it reminds me of the mood I want my WIP to have. Also, my WIP is about a half-elf, so there's that, too. I'm super interested in this story! Can't wait to see more updates about it.

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